There’s a certain wisdom in the reason why I didn’t have something to play music on except computers or laptops during all these years.
For now that I’m able to plug the earphones of my Nokia XpressMusic in my ears as I wish, Nobuo makes me switch so suddenly from a state of mind to another state of ethereal mind that I often find myself completely cut out from the reality where I should be. But usually, it doesn’t happen to me while walking outside or at work and it doesn’t come around unsuspected. Listening to Nobuo happens after a thoughtful ritual, not just like that.
I remember the days when, 8 years ago, I had to go back to Midgar, even when there was nothing to do there any longer -except the turtle paradise thingy, but then again, it’s all about timing with that -. Even when Elmyra is no longer there to dwell in the kitchen.
The first time I encountered Flowers Blooming In The Church, I was overwhelmed. Throughout the game, it just got more intense to me whenever I heard it, but then again, they all did, respectively striking me at once, or one per period or during sleep and so and so. I even have some saves where Cloud is at Aerith’s home, when he snuck up unnoticed and before he did so, just so I can bathe in that atmosphere while Aerith is still there, while there’s a strong conviction that she’s in the next room, at the house or in the physical world simply.
Now, eight years after the first encounter, Flowers Blooming In The Church plays suddenly and I find myself trying to concentrate on work. I try and finally give up. I have to turn it off or otherwise it’d be Aerith’s house, Aerith’s memories, Aerith’s fate and Final Fantasy VII all over again that would ravish my mind…I can’t bring myself to consciously do such a thing, however. I patiently wait for it to stop, create a Nobuo playlist and blast Linkin Park in the hopes that eventually I could tidy up my feelings and stop the racing of my heart.
Just two minutes ago, I was alone at Elmyra’s house and I was crying with a smile: I know she’s here and in the mean time, I’m mourning her in a selfish way. I know I’m mourning her for Cloud is mourning her, but if it were just me, I’d cry out and smile just like I’m doing now for I know that she, like all our dead and to-be-born, dwell around us in the Lifestream.
Flowers Blooming In The Church is the sound that makes my heart ache these days. I think I have a save before the boss of the second sector. I think I’ll go through it quickly and fall again through the roof of the church and this time, I’ll stay even more patiently than the time before.
I’ll have all the time I want to watch Aerith take care of the Flowers Blooming In The Church.
Or maybe I’ll do it before going to sleep or Partner will kick me for clicking on controller’s buttons instead of typing our report or analyzing our FEM data.
I feel I can write books and books about every song composed by Nobuo. No, I don’t feel it. I can do it and probably will.